Sunday, 22 March 2009

Jimmy flies the Coop..

Well, since the addition of our two fine feathered friends, the colourful Jimmy and the snow white Psycho, our days are gaily filled with the gentle singing of birdsong. The befriending of the feathered beasts has seen the introduction of well forgotten childhood games, like “off-ground tiggy”. Clearly, if you do not know what this is, you never grew up in MY neighbourhood. The children would bring the fine feathered friends into the house, release them from their barred compound, then proceed to chase them, across, over and along all forms of household furniture, until they were well and truly caught and handled. Mind you, you can tell an exhausted budgie by the way he “gives up” and is caught. Now we can handle the birds to make them friendly.... At this point they are placed upon the barred compound whereby they spend considerable time contemplating how on earth Peter Parker would have got back in, then seek refuge in flight. “Let me get him!!” came the replies from the tag team. Well, let it be said that Jimmy is somewhat of an easy catch, with considerable reward at the end as a chirping head and shoulder sitting friend. Well, that's not a challenge, lets see if Psycho has settled down any is clearly the response not spoken aloud...

(Now is maybe appropriate in adding at this point that Mum found it necessary to establish new naming rights for this fine feathered friend, due to persistent dangling from the perch and side barred confines in an upside-down manner. What's the problem? you might say.... that head spinning thing she did at the same time! Picture the possum dangling antics of a mammoth, and add a bit of Carrie...) Well, after considerable furniture trashing, and countless attempts and the 'budgie snatch and grab, bite and drop', the oven mitts were donned. “Let me show you how to do it, you clowns” replies the Blokey Man, all knowing in successful snatch and grabs due to previous ownership of feathered friends of the non-flying the coop variety (giggle giggle.....)

“Let her go!!” and then “Oh let me get up off the ground and stop laughing long enough to find that camera!!” could be heard echoing from the kitchen floor as Blokey Man shook Psycho out of his monsterous hand, and sucked the blood from the bite mark on his finger. “Good one dad, now who's going to get her!!!” was hardly encouraging morale from the tag team. The undecipherable responses from Blokey Man, that not even I at this time will type, suggest that he was all in favour of removing Psycho from the family, and inserting a more suitable feathered mate for Jimmy. The thumping hit to the side of the head with an oven mitt seemed to be just the motivation, and said Blokey Man did respond quickly to incarceration of the now squarking Psycho. The feathered pair were then covered up for rest and recuperation, until the next event of befriending was deemed to be necessary.

Well, how nice it is to sit outside in the serentiy of gentle wind chimes, birdsong, a good dose of caffiene and “another book”. But my, it's really getting hot and i worry about the poor birds getting too hot. Perhaps I'll give them a nice little spray of cool water to settle them down. Well, don't they just love it! Psycho has her eyes closed and is moving her head from side to side (and oddly not all the way around..). Gently I swing the barred confines on their suspended tether to ensure that Jimmy too is enjoying the spray, when the whole lot crashes to the patio. OMG!!!!! Freeeeedooommmmmmmm!!! The throwing of hoses and diving at feathers was no where near as determined as that feeling of “let's get out of here before that dog eats us!!!!!”. They clearly did not understand the relationship of one self's ear piercing commands for the dog to steer clear, which saw him saunter to his bed in the garage... Dipping and weaving, jumping and unsuccessful budgie snatch and grabbing saw the two feathered friends ascend the neighbors fence in different directions.. "OMG, he's going to kill me!!" rushed through my head as I quickly mounted the side fence to peer over the colorbond in hope of visual confirmation. Bugger!!

Well, a quick bolt into the garage and out again with a towell (much bigger than an oven mitt..) and i race next door in time to sight Psycho panting into the ground near their garage. “Just throw it” I tell myself, then get after the other one, all the time thinking maybe she's just too exhausted and frightened – no just exhausted, to bite me. I was right, i picked up the feathered bundle and headed back home to find emergency confinement when Blokey Man arrives home in the BlueBird of much duct tape. “Hurry Up, Jimmy's next door” I say. In all haste for either of us not to get bitten, we quickly reassemble the emergency confinement for Pyscho, and infiltrate the abandoned abode next door. Clearly the heat of the day had an entirely different effect on Jimmy, as he propelled himself through the sky to confines far far away. Sadly, he was not located, and much reconnanance in hours and days to follow failed to confirm any sightings.

Should this all have seemed a sad story, then maybe “you” should have been the one to tell number one son that Mum had dropped the budgie confinement, and his faithful feathered friend Jimmy had absconded. Dark and chilling was the mood to follow for several days, no matter how much Mum rugged up against the depths of a teenager's attitude!

Alas, normality has returned as best it can to the abode of much disfunction. Much wooing and female bonding did result following the “event,” as a matter of course in counselling the loss of ones mate. And as the serenity of enjoying yet another pleasant day outdoors, wining or dining on the patio as the gentle breeze moves the branches of the trees. One enjoys the birdsong and the sound of gently swaying wind chimes, until this quickly turns to angry squarking every time the faithful Water Dog charges by the feathered confines to evacuate all and sunder feathered species under the protected air space policy of his back yard........ yes, serenity! Another red perhaps?

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