Monday 16 July 2007

Half Year Holidays

Well, another two weeks of very long days, and very short nights!! The winter hollies are here, or rather just finished. I must admit, it's possibly the first time i haven't seen hand rails up the walls... The kiddies must be getting older, hardly any imploring the talk to the hand method that I keep zoning out!! The first pain free days were good, lots of riding bikes and play station and visiting cousins. Attempted efforts at evacuating the Myrtleford premises for interludes of attitudes meant relocation of the Old Fart and the Little Fart. Untimely loss of mental capacity saw the district nurse offer to take on the unlikely duo, whilst the disjointed family unite to explore the desert and dust of Finley.

I know you're going to ask, how did you get him to take time off?? Curiosity i think. What happens in the desert, what kind of trucks do they drive, and what can i pick up? The Blokey Man also needed to update the Chipper Man about all things BDouble, bogey bogey, poofter auto simulation manipulation procedures..... Oooooohhhhhhhhhhh and lets sit at the computer and look at all the digital photos of the American Rigs!!!!! Like dinner was tonight!!! The bit i liked most was "Boyd's driving not me"....... Like i was going to get the angle grinder out to separate them from the computer..............

Something still puzzles me though, with the unexpected revelation that Maggie was to be a mum, not one of the six new puppies is named Homer or Bart???? Let me elaborate, the lovers of all things Simpson had six little, well fat fluffy yippers, (more yipping than yapping you see...) and not a single Simpson replica arises.... What the?? Five little boys, and one little girl. I will just be sooooo amazed if even one of them has Mother Maggie's elegantly elongated hooter, once evolved past fat fluffy yippers to Kelpie-Collie cross, mean lean stalking machines. They look like little Rottweilers with their big boof heads, they have the most amazing blue eyes, and from chocolate brown to smoky grey to blazing Bethy's brazen Buster, they are just a fun loving bundle of ballistic blokes and a cheeky chocolate chicky. The sudden feeling of lethargy and stabbing pains around the ankles is just the weight of two lots of teeth and claws on one leg, and usually one on the other... Can i have one mum..................... When dad lets me have some chooks!!

Well what would a camp out in the desert be without a fire, snags and Sally's damper.. What a sight that was through the smoke.., Sal jacked up on a log cooking snags on a big stick (ok, a big long steel rotisserie pole from the bbq..) over the open fire.......... The little helpers were coming, and going, and coming, and now they're just doing one more lap around the house, over the jump and across the basketball court for a bit of skid action, all on the pushies in the sprinkling rain.... And if that wasn't entertainment enough there was the apprehension of Coba sneaking a snag out of the pan before Shady did!! And hey, if the damper wasn't like the one you made at Cubs you need more practise making it!!

Now, if this wasn't enough to pain the ribs Blokey Man was given the task to assist the flame bearers with the ceremonious lighting of the fire. Much ado was discussed about camping and such, when the professor of desert technologies confirms that, in several octaves lower than usual, he has done it all before on camp........ "We've used machete's to get the wood, and we even learnt to make a noose." Pratel, when did you do this? We did it on a church camp.... Nothing could be plainer in the desert than the look on Blokey Man's face; "what do you mean a church camp? When i went to school we went to church to learn how to pray"... Well, if this wasn't enough younger sibling chips in; "yeah well we're Mormons, and that's what Mormons do when they go camping!!".... Proud as punch, this enlightened 10 year old was about to give the Blokey Man a religious education that he clearly missed out on..... Now the ribs were really hurting!!!

It's always a good idea to meet the people when visiting another culture, so Blokey Man was introduced to Grandma and Grandpa, and promptly issued with a plastic bag and garden rake! The troops were assemble to collect leaf mulch, avoiding the odd pile of raked up yippers along the way. This was a whole new scene for me, as i was privy to recently observe testosterone Chipper Man using the blower to remove all the leaves from the grass area (we don't call it lawn yet..), and raking the dirt from under the trees. This was a somewhat tedious task, demanding much concentration and skill........ Wish i had the camera for that... Alas, Blokey Man continued to rake and pack the leaves, and i have to advise that only a few animals were raked, rolled or relocated in the process with minimal injuries...

Well, whilst Gus the sheep was being let out of the chook pen (the grain now all gone), the ducks waddling over to test the elasticity of the yippers skins, the chickens dodging the wake from the bike track pond and Maggie still sulking under the house due to the male canine bonding, the girls were in the Studio (that's a capital "S") in preparation of the evacuation of the testosterone mass. It was off to the Monster 4WD Derby in Shepp for the boys, and the only thing left bouncing off the walls was the vibes of inspiration!!

Now, whilst Sal played with workshop cards for retreat and defragging colour schemes, i turned my mind back to the family layout i have wanted to finish. Now aptly named "Family Time" and increased to a double layout (OMG - I've done another one!), the pain of incorporating "Tempus Fugit" into the hands of family was somewhat frustrating... I should ponder this thought as a 'Fugit Tangent', in terms of time, and bring the whole thing back home for completion... Almost there. Another pause as Sal struggles with the concept of dots from the coke can trying to find their way into her scrapbooking, it just wasn't going to happen...

An outward display of emotion was clearly visible in the Studio at the ensuing phone calls to advise of the cancellation of the Monster 4WD Derby in Shepp. Apparently it was too wet........ Alas, a redirection of testosterone was necessary to manage the disappointment, food was a start, and maybe a spot of bowling......

Well, whilst we were soaking up the desert lifestyle of Finley several miscommunications of texting affirmed the Agri-Man and his fHAMily were admiring the coastal views of impending matrimonial lifestyle........oh that's right, he didn't get the ring! The newly acquired Silver Bullet was making it's debut fHAMily holiday journey, and Agri-Man extremely content to relay to Blokey Man much of the weather conditions all the way to Adelaide whilst we were in Finley. One assumes the sea air had a rather adverse affect on the Agri-Man who was holidaying without his usual partner..............

With the end of our journey clearly visible, we cleared our bags and belongings from the solitude of the motel. Not often is it that you get to take your kids on holidays, then leave them somewhere else...... How lucky were we??? With the absence of a crowing rooster, now let me rephrase that, it was quieter... We had a really nice time there, and it was somewhat obvious that the only ring thing in Finley (Agri-Man) was on the coke can!! And it's funny that coke should come into it, as all time favourite liquid rot gut of Blokey Man is coke. And whilst embarking on purchasing consumables at the bottle shop for the motel it was discovered that the purchased item left little to the imagination in taste when discovered that the use by date was some two years prior! How could you not laugh when Blokey Man shook the bottle to show Sal the lack of froth, and thus continued to inform us on the comparisons...

After much discussion and a phone call, Blokey Man was sent back to the bottle shop to exchange the bottle for another out of date bottle, and hence came back with a refund..... Good thing we didn't buy any chicken.........

Much can be said for holidaying with boys who pack their own bags then proceed to show you all contained through a half closed zipper. "Mum, i don't have a clean jumper" says number one son. Off we go and borrow one from the stock on hand, only to see it ten minutes later on the bathroom floor. "What happened to this?" was mum's astonished query. I went for a ride on the bike, that's all......... Just after changing clothes and cleaning up he goes out riding in the rain again, and not only does one son run out of clothes, but number two son also falls short of something long and warm............... Boys eh?

Well, this was the first leg of our July Holiday journey, and a fun time for all... Will continue with our other adventures shortly...

cheers

Jaywhat