Friday, 3 April 2009

Girlfriend Mantra

A little dedication to my dear friends, myself included!

Can YOU guess who is who??

May your beers flow freely,
and your friends strong and true,
may your life long soul searching,
find husband number two............

May your wine glass be chillin,
your friends warm and true,
May your High Plains regatta,
lock in husband number two....

May your V's be on ready,
whenever in need,
May your friends be the Assets,
that you've always been,
May the home you have dreamed of,
be completed before,
your poor husbands arse,
ends up nailed to the door........

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Kicking Up Some Dust

March 29th 2009 saw yet another gathering of the younglings of the Happy Valley, the Hillbilly's and the Hoota's. With the respective parties all converging upon the land of rapid excavation, the task of unloading the variety of colourful beasts from their transporters ensued. With all abandoned to their waiting area, the onlookers all gathered for the unloading of the dinosaur, with Blokey Man displaying much exertion in the process. It's not costing anything you know!

The settling-in of the younglings saw an opportune time for the Blokey Man to perform a quick reconnaissance in the bays of hidden treasures. Satisfied that there was nothing new to be found, the Blokey Man was seen to be in awe of his treasured gifted Gondola, in prime pristine position for all to see.

With Jackie Girl banished to the ties of the efficiently colour co-ordinated Hoota bling transporter, the younglings all disrobed and, and set course for the newly excavated Jambro Park Motorcross Track.... Fully clad in his newly acquired self funded cranium encrusting head bling, the elder Happy Valley sibling led the way. Vision's of the youngest of the Hillbilly siblings were focused on the footwear of the non-safety variety, and action amongst the saw the mums seek alternative footwear come the pit stop.

Well, round one was successful in testing the adaptability of the younglings to remain upright on the Jambro Park Motorcross Track, with mounts of horsepower remaining mechanically sound. It was time to break out the wallets for lunch before resuming the excitement. Unfortunately, this saw the gas bottle on the barbie reading a sad empty.... if only we could hook up the highly combustive and gaseous Tr*ucking Grumpy, although that may have been far too dangerous with younglings around! Thank goodness there was a reserve 4 foot gas bottle (now that was a sight) to cook Blokey Man's bangers just the way he likes, and we even had a little gas left for the rest of the meat... And if our very own Happy Valley Asset has learnt anything at all, it was to stop serving food to beer toting males before an audience of non-compliant sisters... Who knows how far said beer toting male could have carried this if you'd kept going, his wrist might have got really sore and he wouldn't be able to do anything!!

With the epicurean taste buds of younglings quickly satisfied after successfully devouring all but a few of the “Deli Delights Platter”, the Dragon all but throwing up on the table to deter them, the distant “dinging in his ears” of the till saw the Blokey Man encourage the younglings to set forth to their mounts of horsepower.

Much mystery surrounds the visions of the Horse Herder, with all that know him in awe of his merging of the massive excavation of the Jambro Park Motorcross Track within the paddocks of the beloved hoofed beasts. Much single handed effort saw the water tank emerge, with the Horse Herder applying moisture to the dust, and again later on, perhaps to see if the ensuing entertainment could be maximized with a bit of sideways action... Alas, with the other hand now free of his stubby, again the tractor of excavation was set about extending the challenges of the dam wall jump on the straight of the first left corner after the gate.... One wonders if the spare whip and spurs in the stable of love have had reason to cause such a positive effect in the mystical changes of the Horse Herder??

The rising of the dust into the stratosphere saw the need for the dinosaur to be cranked up, the bling to be suited up, and all and sunder thrust forth to the direction of the outward gate for journey's far, far away. With all participants fully encrusted bodies in an array of colourful outer body protection, every mother's nightmare put on his Darth Vader helmet, his work boots and with the thrusting of the scrapbooking camera headed to the gate. Now the girls can rush inside and busily clean up the cooking area, wash all the dishes, clean the kitchen, sweep the shed out, or they could just sit back and enjoy the quiet with Chardy and Boronia – much better idea!!!

The rising of smoke in the not too distant hills saw the return of the dinosaur, the bling and the adequately protected younglings. A decision to return to the habitation of the Happy Valley Block confirmed the onset of another fire. After considerable oooing and ahhhing as to the possible cause, the navigational strategies for the action of the choppers, and an on hand radio update via something similar to the Dead Terrorist Ring tone, it was time for a cool down drink.

A comfortable bonding was assumed with the adults, discussing the customer service skills of the Blokey Man and his mentor, the dress requirements of the female ensemble not to wear such a revealing G-string as to cause erosion, the shotgun toting neighbors feeling the need to protect their airspace, and any water supplies beneath it, and the dance and drink night at the Border District Grumpy Husband awards (I hear one of our very own won this hands down!!).

Well, the troops were once again getting restless, and not the least bit enthralled by the adult conversations. It was time for round two on the recently extended jump and moistened track. This should surely test the adaptability of the younglings to remain upright after becoming airborne on the Jambro Park Motocross Track, with dusty, thirsty mounts of horsepower remaining mechanically sound thus far. The camera crews were assemble at the best vantage points to perform photographic memorabilia, and were somewhat astounded to find that they had forgotten the video camera to pick up the adrenalin inspired vocals from the flying yellow peril... Much could be said for the increasing stupidity, I mean confidence and skill, of the younglings to all gain acceptable levels of balance, speed and air with each and every lap.

At some point in the day, however, there must be one to temp the skills of sanity in the burdens of responsible parenting, and this was handed to the maternal wrath of the hell child. Not satisfied with the levels of the Jambro Dust Cluster in the stratosphere, he saw to remove the pile of powdered dust in the dry dock dam area, with ones back wheel spinning at full throttle (no full noise, that comes with the 2 bangers..). Having little idea of the blackout factor for non-directional younglings on mounted horsepower, he was at once scolded with verbal affection. His self-excavating rights to re-shape the dam wall were revoked at all haste. Having relocated to well within visual eye piercing distance of the maternal wrath, it was time to attest his skill at a decent horsepower burnout to excavate a new divit beside the jump, where upon the hoofed beasts would meander in the off season. It would seem this was way too game a move from the all too confident hell child, and he received yet another scolding, provoking him to re-locate with wrist flicking speed.

All younglings were successful at remaining upright after becoming airborne, but much can be said for settling dust out in the back corner where eating more than a bit of dust saw Tom doing a finger brush of the teeth to remove a bit of grass! Further confusion amongst the testosterone in the direction of the photographic jump shot saw Riley lay down his mount on a quiet patch of ground, before being heaved back up. With all finally settled upon the jump, the scrapbookers and photographic memorabilia keepers performed amazing tasks of goading smiles.

All younglings were duly herded back to the Happy Valley pit area where all mounts were inspected by damage control, before re-loading and subsequent departures. With accounts settled, transporters packed and families all preparing for departure, plans were set to continue the acquaintance with a schedule for a future Saturday meet.

A great day experienced by all.

Happy Valley younglings are the Brown's
Happy Valley Asset - Jenny
Horse Herder - Jamie
Hillbillys are the Gasperotti's - and Janet's scrapbooking CULT name...
Blokey Man is Lui
Maternal Wrath is Janet
Hell Child is Brayden (by his own design...)
The Hoota's are just that!
Kaylene - Dragon
Ian - Tr*cking Grumpy - Border District Grumpy Husband nominee